Tell Me Why
by KoliMouse
Summary: She heard him rummaging around in the kitchen and she closed her eyes. She longed for the days where we would come home and rush to kiss her. Now, he barely acknowledged her presence. Had they become too comfortable? Was that such a thing? Olivia wasn't sure. She'd never been in a relationship like this before. Rated for content & language
1. Sad, Beautiful, Tragic

**I've been thinking about writing this story for a while and BlakeisBensidy on Twitter said something about it today, so here it is. This is going to be a two shot, and this is the first part. The lyrics in the beginning are from Taylor Swift's _Sad, Beautiful, Tragic_. Enjoy!**

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><p><em>Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting<br>Silence, this train runs off its tracks.  
>Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?<br>Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back._

Olivia walked in to an empty apartment. She always seemed to come home to an empty apartment anymore. She missed Brian, she missed the feeling of being in his arms. _It's part of his job now,_ she told herself. Their relationship had changed so much; they never got the chance to talk anymore. He usually got home and came right to bed, and all Olivia wanted to do was just see him, talk to him; hold him. They didn't even fight, she would love it right now if they would fight, because at least it would mean they were communicating. It was just… Silent.

Olivia made dinner, making Brian a plate and sticking it in the microwave as she had done every night for the last two months. She sat cross legged on the couch in a pair of old baggy sweats and one of his t-shirts, staring into the blank, black screen of their TV. Her eyes were puffy, and the tears just kept falling. She couldn't do anything to stop them. She looked at the clock. It was one in the morning. She was exhausted but she knew she wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight. She heard the door open, but she didn't turn her head to see who it was.

She heard him rummaging around in the kitchen and she closed her eyes. She longed for the days where we would come home and rush to kiss her. Now, he barely acknowledged her presence. Had they become too comfortable? Was that such a thing? Olivia wasn't sure. She'd never been in a relationship like this before. He walked into the living room and sat next to her and flipped on the TV. She pushed herself off the couch and walked into the bedroom, shutting the door hard.

Brian looked from the TV to the bedroom door and he furrowed his brow. He wasn't sure what had gotten into her lately. Sure, he wasn't home a lot, but Olivia knew that it was his job, surely she wouldn't be upset with him for doing his job, for finally getting his detective's shield back, even if it meant that he had to work with her sworn enemy. Then he heard it, soft crying, an occasional choked out sob. He turned off the TV and walked to their bedroom, opening the door to see Olivia on the bed, her back to him, he heard her sobs, seeing them wrack her body. He walked over to her, sitting on the bed, his hand resting on her shoulder. "Liv?"

She shrugged him off, staring out their bedroom window. She didn't want to look at him; she didn't want to talk to him. It all hurt too badly. She took a few deep breaths, to calm herself down. She was curled up in a ball, tears had stained her pillow, as they had for so many nights before. She was at the end of her rope and she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold on.

"Baby, talk to me," Brian whispered softly, lovingly.

Her tears started all over again. He was loving, why couldn't he be like this all the time, not just when something was wrong. "I miss you," she choked out before her sobs took over again.

"I'm right here, hey, I'm right here. Look at me."

She shot up to a sitting position and looked at him, fire in her eyes. "You're here? Really, Brian? You haven't been here in months."

"I come—"

"You come home, physically. Emotionally, ever since the trial you've been distant. You barely acknowledge me anymore and I can't take it, Brain. We don't talk, we don't even fight, it's just silence. I can't do it anymore Brian." She looked away from him.

"Baby, what are you saying?"

She looked into his eyes, pursing her lips, getting her composure. "We're not working, Brian. We're broken and I don't think we can fix this."

He caressed her face and pulled her in for a kiss. He needed her, he needed her to stay. "Please, baby, don't do this."

"A kiss isn't going to fix this, Brian." She shook her head. "I think we're over."

"You think? You're not sure?"

She looked off at the wall and tried to maintain some form of composure. "Please don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"You're the one breaking up with me Olivia. I don't want this."

"No? You sure as hell don't act like it. You walked in here tonight and didn't even look at me. You sat next to me and turned on the TV, ignoring the fact that my eyes were puffy and my face was tear stained."

"You're really hurting over this, aren't you?"

"What the fuck do you think? Of course I am. Brian I love you. I love you with every fiber of my being, but I'm tired of loving a ghost. I can't do it anymore. And you can't quit your job at IA. We're at a crossroads here, Bri. I think the only way for us to continue on is to break up."

"We'll figure this out baby, please. Please, I'm begging you. I'll do anything. I'll tell Tucker to shove it up his ass and work security. I don't care, but baby please."

She shook her head. "It's over Bri."

His expression turned cold. "It's Nick, isn't it?"

Olivia looked at him, as if he had just pierced a hole in her heart. "What the hell are you talking about, Bri?

"There's something going on between you and Amaro."

"He's my partner Bri."

"That didn't stop you with Elliot."

She slapped him, hard. So hard she left a cut on his cheek bone from the ring she wore. "You son of a bitch," she spat. "Get out."

"Get out where."

"Get out of this bedroom, the apartment, out of my life. I'm done." She got up and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door.

"And just where the fuck am I supposed to go."

"Fuck if I know and hell if I care. Stay with Tucker for all I care. You two deserve each other. You're both miserable assholes," she called through the door, tears once again streaming down her face. She curled up in the corner, her knees to her chest, her head resting on them as she cried. She didn't understand how everything had gone to hell in less than an hour. She wanted to be with him. She loved him with everything she had, like she had never loved anyone else in her entire life. So why was she pushing him away, pushing him out?

She needed to stop him, get on her knees and beg for forgiveness, beg him to stay. She needed him. She got up and ran out, but he was gone. "No." She sobbed, gripping her chest. "No, Brian," she fell to her knees on the floor and sobbed. Brian heard her cries and for a brief moment considered turning back, rushing into their apartment and scooping her up in his arms, apologizing to her for being such an asshole, begging her to take him back. He loved her, but maybe some time apart would do them some good, so he kept walking.

xx

The days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months. Olivia and Brian had been broken up for two and a half months, and it had certainly taken its toll on Olivia. She wasn't sleeping, barely eating. She'd lost weight, her face was starting to sink in from exhaustion, dark circles graced her under eyes. The circles so dark, no amount of make-up could hide them. The squad noticed this and they were all concerned. Nick walked over to Olivia, who was sitting at her desk doing paperwork, which she did a lot of since becoming Sergeant. "Hey, Liv. You doing okay?"

She looked up at him with tired eyes, a pain hiding behind them. "I'm fine."

"You sure? You look like hell."

"Thanks, partner," she rolled her eyes.

"Why don't you go catch a few in the crib?"

She shook her head. "I'm not tired,"

"You want something to eat? I don't think I've seen you eat in days."

"Not hungry."

"Come on, Liv, you gotta take care of yourself."

"Yeah, Nick I got that. Thanks."

She got up and walked over to the coffee pot, pouring herself another cup of the liquid that was surely eating a hole in her stomach because it was the only thing she had ingested for weeks. It was the only thing keeping her going. She took a gulp of the warm liquid and walked back to her desk, feeling her stomach wretch. She closed her eyes, she tried to regain her composure. She put her coffee down and ran to the bathroom, emptying her stomach into the toilet. She walked to the sink and rinsed her mouth out and washed her hands before walking back to her desk, popping a piece of gum in her mouth. She went back to her paperwork.

This had become her routine at work. This was her normal. When she left work she went home to the apartment she used to share with Brian, she'd put on one of the t-shirts he left behind and curl up on the couch and put on the television. It was usually some mindless comedy like _Will & Grace_ until she fell asleep on the couch for a short time before she would wake up crying. She hadn't slept in bed since she and Brian broke up. She couldn't. It felt wrong to sleep in the bed she shared with the only man she loved when he wasn't there to hold her, when he wasn't coming back.

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><p>The next day she went into the squad room and fell back into her routine. Captain Howard looked at her and called her into her office. "Olivia, what's going on?"<p>

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Olivia don't lie to me. Something is going on."

"No, it's nothing."

Howard knew that there was something more going on, but she didn't want to push her Sergeant. "Alright, take time if you need it, I need you taking care of yourself."

"Got it, Captain," she nodded and walked out of the older woman's office. She got halfway to her desk when everything started to spin, and she collapsed on the floor, unconscious.

Everyone ran to her side, Amanda was shaking her shoulder to try to wake her up. "Liv, Liv come on, wake up." She looked behind her. "Call a bus! She's unconscious." She felt for a pulse. "I got a pulse but it's weak, she needs a doctor now!"

The next thing Olivia could remember she was waking up in the hospital, in a private room. "What happened?" she asked the nurse who was at her bedside taking her blood pressure.

"You fainted. You were out for quite a while. You're extremely dehydrated, malnourished, and succumbed to exhaustion. You haven't been taking care of yourself."

She let out a breath and closed her eyes. "What am I doing?"

"Look, Olivia, I don't know what happened, but you need to take better care of yourself. Eating, sleeping, drinking more than just coffee. You have an ulcer in your stomach, probably a combination of ingesting nothing but coffee and stress. You're going to be here for a few days until we can get you back on a healthy path."

"I don't need to be here, I'll eat, I'll sleep, I'll drink a gallon of water a day, really I'm fine."

"No, you're not. I can tell just by looking at you."

She rolled my eyes. "Is my squad here?"

"They had a case they had to work, but I can call them if you want."

She shook her head. "Don't bother them." She looked out the window. She wished she could rewind the past couple months and take it all back, so that Brian was here, and maybe she wouldn't be in the hospital.

"Oh, and Olivia, when we were doing tests… you're pregnant. About three months along."

Olivia looked into her eyes, and she gasped. "Wha— Pregnant?" She ran a hand through her hair and she closed her eyes and shook her head. "Of course I am."

"I know it's a lot. I'll let you be, get some rest." The nurse walked out of her hospital room and closed the door.

Olivia rolled on her side and she cried. "My baby," she whispered, rubbing her stomach. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. Mama didn't know," she sobbed.

She heard the door open. "Olivia, your boyfriend is here."

She furrowed her brow. "I don't have a boyfriend. Tell him to leave."

The nurse took a deep breath. "He said he's not budging until he sees you."

Olivia took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. "You couldn't make this day any worse, could you?" She rolled her eyes. "Send him in."

Olivia saw Brian walk into the room, two bouquets of flowers in his arms. Brian looked over her and his face fell. "Liv."

She smiled sadly, tears in her eyes. "Bri," she managed to choke out.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading, please review here or on Twitter UnbrokenBarista. The final chapter is going to leave you with a smile on your face, I promise. **


	2. Everything Has Changed

**I'm glad you all seem to like this story so much, so here's the conclusion. Enjoy! The Lyrics are to Taylor Swift's _Everything Has Changed_ ft. Ed Sheeran**

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><p><em>Come back and tell me why<br>I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time.  
>And meet me there tonight<br>And let me know that it's not all in my mind._

"You came," she whispered, her tears still threatening to fall, but a small smile beginning to grace her lips.

"Of course I did. Nick called me and told me that you'd collapsed, that you were in the hospital. I've been here ever since; they wouldn't let me in the room until now."

She felt a tear run down her cheek. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, for ending it."

He sat on the bed and wiped her tear away, feeling her cheekbone so close to her skin. "Don't apologize. Liv, what happened?"

"You," she sniffled. "I haven't slept more than a half hour at a time since we broke up. I wake up crying. My heart aches every second of everyday. I can't eat. I've been living off of coffee and have an ulcer to show for it. Brian, we weren't talking, but I never realized how much I truly love you, how much I truly need you in my life until I wound up here," she whispered.

"Olivia," he whispered and pulled her into a gentle hug, afraid to break her fragile frame. "I should have come back. I should have fought harder for you."

She shook her head. "I'm okay. I'll be okay, just, please Bri, please take me back. I need you more than I've ever needed anyone or anything."

"Hey, I'm here, and I'm never going anywhere again." He saw her smile grow, a light in her eyes that had been absent for so long. "Can I kiss you now?"

"Please," she whispered, pulling him closer, their lips crashing together. She rested her hand on the back of his head and let out a gentle moan. She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. "I've missed you so much. These past two and a half months without you have been torture. I love you."

He took her face in his hands. "I love you, too. I can't even describe how much I've missed you."

She smiled. "Well, since we're here and together, I have some good news. It's still sinking in for me too, they just told me."

"Told you what?"

She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm pregnant."

"Pre—"

"I had the same reaction. Three months along." She took his hand and rested it on her stomach. "We both love you, and we both need you in our lives."

He pulled her in for another kiss, breaking the kiss after a few minutes. "We're having a baby?"

She nodded quickly. "Yes." She wrapped her arms around him. "God, I want to sit up and talk for days, but now that you're here, and your mine again, no sleep is really catching up with me."

He smiled and caressed her face. "Get some sleep baby. I'll be right here when you wake up."

She moved over in the bed a little and patted the space in the bed. "Come on, I want to be in your arms. Please?"

"What about the doctors?"

"Hey, they want me here for a few days to eat and sleep and what not. Well, if they want me to sleep they need to let you lay in bed with me."

He nodded and climbed in next to her. "Okay, come here."

She smiled and rested her head on his chest, closing her eyes, letting her arm drape over him. She let out a sigh of contentment. "Mm, I've missed this."

He wrapped an arm around her tiny, frail body. He felt tears well up in his eyes. Olivia, his Olivia, had become a shell of the woman she was when he left. He hated himself for not rushing back into the apartment when he heard her sobs for him after he left. He gently rubbed her back. "I missed it too." He kissed the top of her head, holding the kiss a little longer. "Get some rest, baby. We'll talk when you wake up, okay?"

"Hmm." She took a deep breath and drifted off, his heartbeat lulling her into a deep sleep.

Brian ran his fingers through her hair, looking down at her. "I am so sorry, Liv. So, so sorry," he whispered, knowing she was sleeping. He should have gone back, he should have fought harder for her, he should have kept trying, day in and day out until he got her back. He never should have left her alone for two and a half months.

Brian too drifted off into a light sleep about an hour and a half after Olivia fell asleep. The time he was awake he was just watching her. Watching the rise and fall of her breath, he was memorizing her all over again. He felt her stir and felt her lips on his chest. "Liv?" he asked sleepily.

She looked up at him. "Hey baby," she whispered. "That is the most I've slept solidly in almost three months." She kissed him softly. "Thank you."

Brian kissed her back and smiled, running his fingers through her hair. "Any time, babe."

She let out a sigh. "I guess we need to talk, don't we?"

"We probably should."

Olivia sat up. "Bri, I never should have pushed you away. I never should have slapped you. We should have talked and figured out a way to make it work."

"Well, I deserved the slap for the Elliot comment. I never should have brought him up. I said it to hurt you, and I'm sorry." He lifted her chin. "I'm sorry I didn't fight harder to stay Olivia, I know I already said it but seeing you like this… God I hate myself for not fighting harder, for not bursting back through that door when I heard you crying and begging for your forgiveness."

She looked into his eyes. "I was lonely, and I didn't think it could get any worse and I didn't know what to do, so I did the only thing I know how to do. I ran. Little did I know that it could get worse… without you. We need to make this work, Brian. I need you, our baby needs you. I know it's going to be hard with IA, but just promise me you'll come home and wrap me in your arms and kiss me. Promise me you'll fall asleep with me every night and wake up with me every morning."

"I can do that. I'm not IA anymore, I'm in computer crimes. The hours are so much better, and no undercover."

Olivia let out a breath. "We're gonna make this work. You and me, and baby, against the world," she whispered and kissed him passionately. She heard her stomach growl and she smiled. "I think baby's hungry."

He smiled. "Let's get some good food in your belly, and then we can cuddle up some more and just relax."

She smiled and looked at him. "That sounds absolutely perfect." Olivia called the nurse and rested her head on his shoulder.

The nurse walked in a couple minutes later and smiled. "How are you?"

"Better now," she said looking up at Brian. "I'm actually hungry, starving really."

"I'll get you a tray. Chicken and rice okay?"

"That sounds absolutely wonderful. Then again, I'm pretty sure liver and onions would sound good at this point."

"If you want—"

"No, no chicken and rice is fine, thank you," she smiled and saw the nurse walk out and she nuzzled further into Brian's embrace. "I can't wait to get out of here, sleep in our bed again."

"A couple nights won't hurt."

"Bri, I haven't slept in our bed since you left."

He looked down at her. "Why?"

She shrugged. "Didn't feel right, sleeping in our bed by myself, not sure if you'd ever come back. I'd have slept on the couch for the rest of my life."

"Well, the minute we get back home we'll go right to bed and sleep for days. And whatever else you may want to do," he smirked and winked.

"I… I probably look so awful."

"Baby, you're beautiful."

"Bri, don't try to make me feel better. I'm skin and bone; you can see the vertebra in my back, my ribs, my hip bones. I look sickly."

Brian kissed the top of her head. "Okay, baby you just tell me when, and I'll be right here."

She looked into his eyes. "I'll get there," she smiled. "And I'm never going so long without food again. It's weird, it's not even like I was purposely starving myself. Even the smell of food made my stomach turn. I know I should have tried to make myself eat… I wasn't hungry. Time blended together. I didn't realize how long it had been."

He nodded. "I'm just so glad you're okay. I'm so glad that you're back in my arms."

She rested her head on his chest. "I'm always going to be here, baby. I'm not going anywhere ever again."

He held her tight. He didn't know what else to do; all he knew is that he never planned on letting her go again.

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><p>After a couple days, Olivia was released, Captain Howard told her to take some time to get back to her fully functioning self before she returned to work. She only took a couple days, but when she went back, she was definitely back at the top of her game, going after perps, helping the victims, doing what she was best at. The weeks passed and Olivia gained back the weight she lost and some from the pregnancy. A small bump was forming where their child was growing.<p>

Olivia put on one of Brian's favorite bra and panty combos and one of his ties and sat at the desk they had in their bedroom, her feet propped up on the cherry wood surface. She heard the door open and close and heard her boyfriend's voice call out for her. "In here, baby."

He walked in and looked at her. "Nice tie." He smirked.

She pushed the chair away from the desk and walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I got my body back," she whispered in his ear, gently biting his ear, then his neck, pressing her body to his. "And I want you."

He wrapped his arms around her waist, his hands trailing down to her ass, grabbing it. "You are so sexy," he whispered in her ear, kissing her neck.

She tilted her head and closed her eyes, letting out a breathless moan. "Mm, I've missed this."

He smirked and picked her up and carried her to their bed, laying her down and climbing on top of her. "I've missed you," he whispered.

She looked up into his eyes and pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders, untying his tie and taking it off of him, tossing it to the side, unbuttoning his shirt, running her hands over his chest. "I missed you, too. Baby, make love to me."

He kissed her passionately, running his hand over her body. When her back arched he slipped his hands beneath her and unhooked her bra, taking it off of her and tossing it to the side. He kissed her chest, taking one of her nipples into his mouth, flicking his tongue over it. He let her breast go, kissing back to her lips. "You're so sexy in just my tie and your lace thong."

She let out a soft moan feeling his tongue on her breast. "I bet I'll look even sexier in just the tie."

His hands trailed down her sides and took the sides of her panties in his hands, pulling them off her legs. He kissed up her legs, kissing her inner thighs. He looked up at her. Her head was thrown back, her eyes closed, her back arched. He got close to her pussy, so close she could feel his breath on her clit and she let out a moan.

"Baby please," she begged.

He lapped at her pussy, tasting her and letting out a moan. She tasted so good. He pushed two fingers inside of her, his lips wrapping around her clit, sucking on it. Her hand found its way to the back of his head, tugging at his hair. She moaned and bit her bottom lip. He started moving his fingers in and out of her, quickly, he wanted to taste her when she came, he wanted to make love to her, he wanted to make her come over and over again.

"Fuck, baby!" she gasped and felt her legs start to shake around his head. "Oh that feels so good. Oh baby, yeah. Oh I'm gonna come," she whined. She felt every muscle in her body clench, stilling his fingers inside of her as she came hard, as Brian licked her clean, taking his fingers out of her and sucking them. "Oh that's so sexy."

He kissed back up to her lips. "So are you, and you taste fucking incredible baby." He kissed her again, letting her taste herself on his lips. He heard her moan pushing his shirt off of his shoulders, and run her hands down his chest, undoing his belt and pants and pushing them off, taking his dick in her hand, starting to stroke him. He broke the kiss and moaned.

She ran her hands back up his chest, resting them on his shoulders. "I need you. Now," she whispered.

He looked down into her eyes and slowly pushed inside of her. He felt how tight she was and he groaned. "So good, baby."

She seethed and arched her back as he filled her so completely, stretching her walls. "Oh, yeah baby. Please move, oh God, please!"

He started thrusting into her at a slow, steady pace. The only sounds through the apartment were the sounds of their soft, breathless moans and grunts, their lips smacking as they kissed passionately, slowly, rough. This was the first time in what seemed like forever that they had been together like this, and they wanted tonight to last, needed tonight to last.

They made love for hours, falling over the edge of ecstasy together, screaming each other's names. He fell on top of her after they rode out their orgasms and kissed the skin of her shoulder. "God I missed you, Liv."

She had her eyes closed, a lazy smile on her face. "I missed you too, Bri." She ran her hands over his back and hugged him tight. Her lips were next to his ear when she whispered to him. "Promise me forever."

He looked into her eyes before kissing her softly. "Forever and a day," he whispered against her lips.

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! Please review, here or on Twitter UnbrokenBarista. **


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